FACEBOOK COO Sheryl Sandberg在哈佛毕业典礼的演讲

 

 FACEBOOK COO Sheryl Sandberg在哈佛毕业典礼的演讲

   今天很荣幸来到这里为尊敬的哈佛商学院（HBS）的教授们，自豪的毕业生家长们和耐心的来宾们，尤其是为今年的毕业生们演讲。

    今天原本应该是狂欢的日子，不过我知道现在并不合适了（由于一名毕业生在欧洲突然死亡）让我们一起为Nate同学表示哀悼，当然任何言语在这样的悲剧前都苍白无力。

    尽管有悲伤萦绕在大家心头，今天仍然象征着你们取得的杰出成绩。所以让我们一起为12届的毕业生们献上最热烈的祝贺。

    当尊敬的院长Nohria邀请我今天来做演讲时，我想来给一群远比我年轻有活力的人们演讲？我没问题。这正是我每天在Facebook做的事情。我喜欢和年轻人在一起，除了当他们问我，“

没有互联网的大学是怎样的？”或者（更夸张）“谢丽尔，你能过来下么？我们想知道‘老人’会对这个新功能怎么看”这类问题。

    17年前当我是哈佛的学生时，我上了Kash Rangan教授的“社交化营销”。一个Kash用来解释“社交化营销”概念的例子就是美国在器官捐赠方面的不足，每天因此有18人死亡。本月早些

时候，Facebook推出了一款支持器官捐赠的工具，这是对Kash工作的直接应用。Kash，无论你今天坐在哪里，我们都十分感激你的贡献。

    所以也就在“不久”之前，我坐在你们现在的位置上。但是这个世界已经变化了很多。我所在的小组Section B曾尝试进行HBS的第一次在线课程。我们用的是AOL的聊天室和电话拨号上网

服务。你们的父母可以向你们解释什么是拨号上网。我们得给每人发一张写有我们网名的列表，因为那时在网上用真名是件让人难以想象的事。不过这完全不行。网一直断，我们会被踢出聊

天室。因为当时的世界还无法让90人同时在线交流。不过有几个瞬间，我们（仿佛）看到了未来。一个由于科技进步让我们和真实生活中的同事、家人和朋友（更好地）联系在一起的未来。

    过去如果想在一天内联系到比你能见着面更多的人，你要么有钱，要么有名，要么有权。（你得是）名人，政客，或者CEO。但是今天不一样了。现在普通人也可以获得话语权。不仅是那

些能到HBS读书的幸运儿，而是任何能上Facebook，Twitter或者有（智能）手机的人。这正在打破传统的权利结构，让传统的阶层变得扁平。话语权正从机构转向个人，从曾经有权有势的人

转向普通人。而且这一切的变化速度远远超出了当时就坐在你们今天位置上的我的想像。那时候，马克·扎克伯格才十一岁。

    当世界变得更紧密且更扁平时，传统的职业生涯也在发生变化。2001年在为政府工作了几年之后，(谢丽尔·桑德伯格当初为Larry Summers工作）我搬到硅谷找下一份工作。当时并不是

个好时机。泡沫破灭了。小公司都在倒闭，大公司都在裁员。一个女性CEO看着我说，“我们根本不会考虑招你这样的人。”

    过了一段时间，我有了几个offers。需要做决定了，那么我是怎么做的呢？（由于）我受过MBA的训练，所以我做了一个Excel表。我把工作都列了出来并且一行行把我的评判标准也列了

出来。比较公司的远景，工作的职责等。表格中有一个工作是去做Google的第一个业务部总经理。这现在听起来很不错，但是当时没人相信直接面对消费者的互联网公司可以赚钱。我都不敢

确定那儿是不是真有这样的职位；Google就没有业务部，那要我去总管什么呢？何况那职位比我在其他公司得到的offers都要低好几级。

    后来我和当时刚刚上任的CEO艾里克·施密特见了面，我给他看了我的列表。我说，“这份工作完全不合我的选择标准。”他用手按住我的表格。看着我说：“不要犯傻。”

    极佳的职业忠告。然后他说，“（重要的是）坐上火箭。当公司在飞速发展而产生很大影响力时，事业自然也会突飞猛进。当公司发展较慢时，或者公司前景一般时，停滞和（办公室）

政治就会出现。如果你得到了坐上火箭的机会，别管是什么位置，上去就行。”

    大概六年半之后，当我要离开Google的时候，我记住了这句忠告。当时好几家公司请我去做CEO，但是我去了Facebook做COO（首席运营官）。那时有人问你为什么要去给一个23岁的（大

学生）打工？

    职业发展通常会被比作“爬阶梯”。但我认为这个比喻不再恰当了。在越来越扁平的世界里，这种说法是没有意义的。我刚到Facebook的时候，97届HBS的校友Lori Goler还在eBay做市场

营销。我和她曾在某个社交场合上认识。她打电话给我说，“我想和你谈谈到Facebook和你一起工作的事，我想到给你打电话，和你说我有哪些特长以及我想做的事情。但我知道所有人都会

这样说。所以我就想知道什么是你现在最棘手的问题，我又该如何帮你解决这个问题？”

    我感动得五体投地。那时我一路过来，雇了上千人，但是从来没有人对我这样说过。我自己也从来没有这样说过。找工作一直是关于找工作的人（是怎样，要什么）。但是Lori不是这样

想的。我说，“你被录用了。我最大的问题就是招人，你可以帮我。”之后Lori就换到了这个她自己都从未想过去做的领域，还降了一级，重新开始。之后她被升职，负责整个Facebook的人

事运行，现在做得非常好，（在公司）有很大的影响力。

    Lori对职业有个很好的比喻。她说职业不是阶梯，而是(游乐场里儿童玩的）立方格攀登架。

    当你们开始HBS之后的职业生涯时，（你们应该）寻找机会，追随成长，力求影响力，发现远景，可以平调，降级，升职，甚至换新的领域。培养你的技能，而不是填充你的简历。根据你

能做的事来评判工作，而不是你可以得到的职位。做真正的工作。接受一个销售目标，一个生产线上的工作，一个涉及运营方面的工作，别作太多计划，也别要求要“青云直上”。如果我在

坐在你们的位置上时就计划好我的职业，我会错过我现在的职业。

    你们现在正迈入一个和我当时不同的世界我的世界刚刚开始被连接起来，你的世界已经超级连接在一起。我当时竞争很激烈。你们现在的竞争更加激烈。我的世界变化很快，你的世界变

化更快。

    在这个传统结构正被打破的时代，领导班子也需要演变。从设立阶层到责任共享，从命令与控制到聆听和引导。你在HBS这个伟大的学院学习不仅是为了能够跟上浪潮，更重要的是能去引

领潮流。

    当你在这个新世界里乘风破浪时，你能依靠的不是你是谁也不是你的学位。你要依靠的是你的知识。你的力量不会源自你在公司的位置，而来自于建立信任，获得尊敬。你会需要天赋，

技能，想象力和视野。不过最最重要的是，具有真诚沟通的能力，既能鼓舞你身边的人，又能聆听他们的建议，在每一天的工作中不断学习进步。

    如果你留意小孩，你会立刻发现他们是多么的真实。我的一个HBS小组里的朋友Betsy在毕业后几年怀上了第二个孩子。她的第一个小孩，Sam，那时大概五岁。Sam环视了下她问，“妈妈

，小宝宝在哪里啊？”她说，“小宝宝在我肚子里。”他说，“真的么？难道小宝宝的手不在你的手里？”她说，“不，小宝宝在我肚子里。”“真的？小宝宝的腿不在你腿里？”“不，整

个宝宝都在我肚子里啊。”然后她说，“那么妈妈，为什么你的屁股越来越大？”

    作为成年人，我们从不如此直接。这未必是件坏事。我也是两个孩子的妈妈，我最不想听到的恐怕就是这些评论，当然这些评论用在我身上也确实没错。但是那也不总是件好事。因为我

们所有人，尤其是领导者，需要说真话，听真话。

    在工作环境中，说真话尤其得难，因为无论我们多希望将组织架构扁平化，所有的组织都会有某种层级。这就意味着一个员工的表现会由别人对其印象来评估。

    这是不鼓励真诚的设计。想象一下人们在典型的工作环境中是如何沟通的。人们不说“我不同意我们的扩张策略”或者，更好，“这看起来真傻。”人们会说，“我知道进入这个新领域

有众多好处，而且我相信管理团队一定做过细致的投资回报分析，不过，我不确定我们是否完整地考虑了在这个时刻采取这个方案会产生的所有后果。（对此就该用）我们在Facebook或者互

联网上常说的三个字：WTF。

    事实最好用简短的语言来表达。去年，马克·扎克伯格决定开始学中文。作为学习的一部分，他每周会花大约一个小时的时间和一些来自中国的员工交谈。有一天，有一个员工谈到了她

的老板。她说了一通之后，马克说，“请说简单点。”她再说了一遍之后，他说，“不行，我还是没明白，请再简单点。”就这样来回了几次。终于，她愤怒地说道，“我老板坏！”简单明

了，而且非常重要，需要让马克知道。

    在工作或者生活中，人们很少会把话说那么明了。尤其是当你的级别上升后，人们不仅不会和你把话说清楚，还会对你所说的小事反应过激。当我加入Facebook的时候，我的职责之一就

是把公司商业那块给建立起来，将其系统化。但是我不想破坏Facebook原有的文化。我尝试的一件事就是鼓励人们和我开会时不要做正式的PPT。我会说，“和我开会不用做PPT。”把你想讨

论的事列出来就行。但是所有人都无视我的要求，仍然在做PPT，就这样一个又一个会议，一个月又一个月，没有改变。大概两年后，我说，“OK，我不喜欢条条框框，但我要定个规矩，和我

开会不用做PPT。我是认真的。别再做了。”

    大约一个月之后，我在一个大型场合正要和全球销售团队讲话，一个同事上来对我说，“在你上台之前，大家对你制定的‘和客户会面不做PPT’的规定很有意见。”我说，“什么‘ 和

客户会面不做PPT’？”他们说：“你制定了一个规定：不做PPT。”之后我上了台就说，“首先，我说的是和我开会不用PPT。其次，更重要的是，下次你们听到一些你们认为很傻的话，不要

去遵循它，而要去提意见或者无视它，哪怕你知道那话是我或者马克说的。”

    一个好的领导者知道大部分人不愿意去挑战权威，所以领导者有义务去鼓励大家来质疑。当然说鼓励反馈容易，做起来难。因为听到的反馈往往不是我们想要的那种。

    当我刚开始在Google工作时，我的团队里面有四个人。所以对我而言，由我自己来面试团队的每个成员就尤其重要。要成为我的团队的一份子，我必须了解你。当团队增长到大约有100人

的时候，我意识到在面试上花的时间越来越多。所以有一天在我的报告会上，我说也许我应该停止面试。那时我完全预计他们会打断我说，“不行，你的面试是流程中很重要的一步。”（然

而）他们都对此非常赞赏。然后他们转过来解释说我一直都是流程中的瓶颈。我先是觉得羞愧，然后恼怒。我花了几个小时的时间生闷气。他们为什么不告诉我我是瓶颈？为什么他们不阻止

我拖大家的后腿？后来我明白了：如果没人告诉我，那这就是我的错。我还不够开怀并主动告诉大家我希望得到反馈。我决定从此改变这点。

    当你是领导，得到有用的真实的反馈是很难的，哪怕你反复要求。我发现的一个小技巧是尝试主动地谈论你的某些缺点。因为这样会让人愿意来认同我，这比直接指出我的缺点要容易许

多。从众多可能中举个例子来说，当事情没有搞定时，我会有点焦躁。真的，只要有事情没有搞定，我会变得非常焦躁。我敢肯定没人会说我过于冷静。后来我就主动地谈论这个缺点，让大

家来认同我，因而可以在我焦躁时告诫我但是如果我对此一句不提，会有Facebook的员工，走上来对我说，“嘿，谢丽尔，冷静点。你快把我们搞疯了！”我可不这样认为。

    在你们毕业的今天，问自己你将如何去领导，你会用简单明了的语言？你会追寻真实的反馈？当你得到真实的反馈，你会愤怒还是感激？

    当我们努力更真诚地沟通时，我们也应该在更多的意义上做到真实。我经常会说带着“完整的自己”去上班，这是我深深相信的一点。

 
    工作的动力来自于做我们在乎的事情，但也来自于和我们在乎的人一起工作。要做到在乎某人，你必须了解他们，你必须知道他们喜欢什么讨厌什么，他们会有什么样的感受，而不只是

他们会想什么。如果你想得到人心，你必须用心去领导。我不相信周一到周五我们是职业的自己，其它时间才是真正的自己。类似这样的分离从来就不太可行，在越来越提倡真实的当今世界

里，这就更没有意义了。

    我在工作时流过泪。我告诉过别人我在工作时流过泪。后来这被媒体报道成“谢丽尔·桑德伯格在马克·扎克伯格的肩膀上哭泣”，事实当然不是如此。我会谈论我的希望和恐惧，也会

询问别人的希望和恐惧。我努力做真实的自己，直面我的优点和缺点。我会鼓励别人也这么做。一切都与职业相关，也都与个人相关，两者无时无刻不交融在一起。

    作为带着“完整的自己”去上班的一部分努力，最近我开始公开谈论女性在工作环境中面临的挑战。这也是我最近几年才有勇气做的事情。在此之前，我和大家一样小心翼翼地在职场上

打拼。我从没和别人强调“我是女儿身”。“不说”原则。当我暂时回家照顾下孩子时，我会把（办公室的）灯留着。当我锁上门在办公室边参加电话会议，边为我的宝宝们挤奶时，有人会

问，“那是什么声音？”我会说，“什么声音？”“我听到哔的一声”“噢，我窗外正好有一辆消防车。”

    然而，由于我们在上个10年取得的进展很小，我决定要开始公开讨论这点。我是1995年从HBS毕业的，当时我想等到我们这届有人被邀请到这个讲台演讲的时候，我们一定已经实现了工作

上的男女平等。但是在C-级别的工作上，女性的比例始终停留在15到16％。10年来一点都没有变化。离50％还差很远，而且更糟的是，已经停止增长。我们需要公开承认在执行级别的领导层

，性别仍然是个大问题。对平等的承诺不等于真正的平等。我们需要就此进行谈论。

    我们要讨论女性相比男性为什么会低估自己的能力。而且和男性不同，对于女性，成功和受欢迎程度是反向相关的。这意味着一个女性在事业上越成功，她就会越不受人喜爱。这意味着

女性需要另一种形式的管理和辅导，另一种形式的支持和鼓励，甚至一些保护，在某些方面，要比男性有更多的保护。

    而且现在有资历做这些的女性还太少，所以在座的男性毕业生们要和女性毕业生们一起肩负起这个责任，甚至更多。不仅仅讨论性别，而且要帮助女性取得成功。当听到一个工作上很优

秀的女性不为人爱戴，深呼吸一下，问问自己这是为什么。

    我们需要公开地探讨我们都需要的灵活机制来平衡工作和生活。几周前我接受了一个采访，我说我会5点半离开公司去和我的小孩吃晚饭。我被由此而来的媒体报道震惊了。我的一个朋友

说她不确定就算我用斧子砍人，是否能上一样多的头条。我告诉她我对砍人没兴趣。不过这让我明白，对于我们所有人，不管是男人还是女人，这是个未解决的问题。要不是这样，为什么大

家会对此有那么多评论？

    也许，最重要的是，我们应该开始讨论为什么只有少数的女性，即便来自HBS，即便是你们这届毕业生，渴望坐上最高的领导职位。我们无法弥补领导岗位上的差距，除非我们先弥补职业

抱负上的差距。我们需要更多的女性不仅仅坐在会议桌旁，而且要像奥巴马总统几周前在Barnard学校说的那样，去光明正大地坐到主座上去。

    我今天来这里十分激动的另一个原因是院长Nohria告诉我今年是第一次有女生进入HBS50周年。你们的院长对让更多的女性进入领导岗位很执着。他告诉我这就是为什么他请我来做今年的

演讲者的原因。

    有一次我遇到了那届的一位女生。她告诉我当第一届女生入学时，学校把一个男生洗手间改成了女生洗手间。没错吧。但是他们留下了小便池。她认为这里的信息很明确我们不确定这个

女生来上学的事是不是靠谱，万一后来黄了，我们也不必重新安装小便池。现在这些小便池当然早就不在了。让我们确保没人会想念它们。

    当你和你的同学们即将走向世界各地，当你们明天走出校园，我对你们有四个期望：

    第一，通过Facebook保持联系。这对于你们未来的成功而言很关键！另外，我们现在是上市公司了，所以当你上Facebook的时候请点击一两个广告吧！

    第二，努力说真话，求真知。

    第三，保持你的“真我”，用你的“真我”待人。

 
    第四，最由衷的一点，让你们这代来实现我们这代没有做到的。让我们创造一个男女在家庭和工作都各撑半边天的世界。我敢保证这会是个更美好的世界。

    让我们一起向2012年的毕业生们献上最真挚的祝贺。和你们的“真我”一起，给你们自己一轮热烈的掌声吧！

                

 

英文原稿

 

It’s an honor to be here today to address HBS’s distinguished faculty, proud parents, patient guests, and most importantly, the class of 2012.

Today was supposed to be a day of unbridled celebration and I know that’s no longer true. I join all of you in grieving for your classmate Nate. There are no words which can make this better.

Though laden with sadness, today still marks a distinct and impressive achievement for this class. So please join me in giving our warmest congratulations to this class.

When Dean Nohria asked me to speak here today, I thought, come talk to a group of people way younger and cooler than I am? I can do that. I do that every day at Facebook. I like being surrounded by young people, except when they say to me, “What was it like being in college without the internet?” or worse,” Sheryl, can you come here? We need to see what old people think of this feature.”

When I was a student here 17 years ago, I studied social marketing with Professor Kash Rangan. One of the many examples Kash used to explain the concept of social marketing was the lack of organ donors in this country, which kills 18 people every single day. Earlier this month, Facebook launched a tool to support organ donations, something that stems directly from Kash’s work. Kash, we are all grateful for your dedication.

SANDBERG’S HARVARD SECTION TRIED TO HAVE THE SCHOOL’S FIRST ONLINE CLASS

It wasn’t really that long ago when I was sitting where you are, but the world has changed an awful lot. My section, section B, tried to have HBS’s first online class. We had to use an AOL chat room and dial up service. (Your parents can explain to you later what dial-up service is.) We had to pass out a list of screen names because it was unthinkable to put your real name on the internet. And it never worked. It kept crashing. The world just wasn’t set up for 90 people to communicate at once online. But for a few brief moments, we glimpsed the future – a future where technology would power who we are and connect us to our real colleagues, our real family, our real friends.

It used to be that in order to reach more people than you could talk to in a day, you had to be rich and famous and powerful. You had to be a celebrity, a politician, a CEO. But that’s not true today. Now ordinary people have voice, not just those of us lucky to go to HBS, but anyone with access to Facebook, Twitter, a mobile phone. This is disrupting traditional power structures and leveling traditional hierarchy. Control and power are shifting from institutions to individuals, from the historically powerful to the historically powerless. And all of this is happening so much faster than I could have imagined when I was sitting where you are today – and Mark Zuckerberg was 11 years old.

‘WE WOULDN’T EVEN THINK ABOUT HIRING SOMEONE LIKE YOU’

As the world becomes more connected and less hierarchical, traditional career paths are shifting as well. In 2001, after working in the government, I moved out to Silicon Valley to try to find a job. My timing wasn’t really that good. The bubble had crashed. Small companies were closing. Big companies were laying people off. One CEO looked at me and said, “we wouldn’t even think about hiring someone like you.”

After a while I had a few offers and I had to make a decision, so what did I do? I am MBA trained, so I made a spreadsheet. I listed my jobs in the columns and my criteria in the rows. One of the jobs on that sheet was to become Google’s first Business Unit general manager, which sounds good now, but at the time no one thought consumer internet companies could ever make money. I was not sure there was actually a job there at all; Google had no business units, so what was there to generally manage? And the job was several levels lower than jobs I was being offered at other companies.

So I sat down with Eric Schmidt, who had just become the CEO, and I showed him the spreadsheet and I said, this job meets none of my criteria. He put his hand on my spreadsheet and he looked at me and said, “Don’t be an idiot.”

EXCELLENT CAREER ADVICE: ‘GET ON A ROCKET SHIP’

Excellent career advice. And then he said, “Get on a rocket ship. When companies are growing quickly and having a lot of impact, careers take care of themselves. And when companies aren’t growing quickly or their missions don’t matter as much, that’s when stagnation and politics come in. If you’re offered a seat on a rocket ship, don’t ask what seat. Just get on.”

About six and one-half years later, when I was leaving Google, I took that advice to heart. I was offered CEO jobs at a bunch of companies, but I went to Facebook as COO. At the time people said, why are you going to work for a 23-year-old?

THE METAPHOR FOR A CAREER IS NO LONGER A LADDER; IT’S A JUNGLE GYM

The traditional metaphor for careers is a ladder, but I no longer think that metaphor holds. It just doesn’t make sense in a less hierarchical world. When I was first at Facebook, a woman named Lori Goler, a 1997 graduate of HBS, was working in marketing at eBay and I knew her a bit socially. She called me and said, “I want to talk with you about coming to work with you at Facebook. So I thought about calling you and telling you all the things I’m good at and all the things I like to do. But I figured that everyone is doing that. So instead I want to know what’s your biggest problem and how can I solve it?”

My jaw hit the floor. I’d hired thousands of people up to that point in my career, but no one had ever said anything like that. I had never said anything like that. Job searches are always about the job searcher, but not in Lori’s case. I said, “You’re hired. My biggest problem is recruiting and you can solve it.” So Lori changed fields into something she never thought she’d do, went down a level to start in a new field. She has since been promoted and runs all of People Operations at Facebook and is doing an extraordinary job.

Lori has a great metaphor for careers. She says they’re not a ladder, they’re a jungle gym.

LOOK FOR GROWTH, IMPACT AND MISSION. MOVE SIDEWAYS, DOWN, ON AND OFF

As you start your post-HBS career, look for opportunities, look for growth, look for impact, look for mission. Move sideways, move down, move on, move off. Build your skills, not your resume. Evaluate what you can do, not the title they’re going to give you. Do real work. Take a sales quota, a line role, an ops job. Don’t plan too much, and don’t expect a direct climb. If I had mapped out my career when I was sitting where you are, I would have missed my career.

You are entering a different business world than I entered. Mine was just starting to get connected. Yours is hyper-connected. Mine was competitive. Yours is way more competitive. Mine moved quickly, yours moves even more quickly.

As traditional structures are breaking down, leadership has to evolve as well – from hierarchy to shared responsibility, from command and control to listening and guiding. You’ve been trained by this great institution not just to be part of these trends, but to lead.

As you lead in this new world, you will not be able to rely on who you are or the degree you hold. You’ll have to rely on what you know. Your strength will not come from your place on some org chart, but from building trust and earning respect. You’re going to need talent, skill, and imagination and vision. But more than anything else, you’re going to need the ability to communicate authentically, to speak so that you inspire the people around you and to listen so that you continue to learn each and every day on the job.

‘MOMMY, WHAT IS GROWING IN YOUR BUTT?’

If you watch young children, you’ll immediately notice how honest they are. My friend Betsy from my section a few years after business school was pregnant with her second child. Her first child was about five and said, “Mommy, where is the baby?” She said, “The baby is in my tummy.” He said, ‘Aren’t the baby’s arms in your arms?” She said, “No, the baby’s in my tummy.” “Are the baby’s legs in your legs?” “No, the whole baby is in my tummy.” Then he said, ‘Then Mommy, what is growing in your butt?”

As adults, we are never this honest. And that’s not a bad thing. I have borne two children and the last thing I needed were those comments. But it’s not always a good thing either. Because all of us, and especially leaders, need to speak and hear the truth.

The workplace is an especially difficult place for anyone to tell the truth, because no matter how flat we want our organizations to be, all organizations have some form of hierarchy. This means that one person’s performance is assessed by someone else’s perception.

This is not a setup for honesty. Think about how people speak in a typical workforce. Rather than say, “I disagree with our expansion strategy” or better yet, “this seems truly stupid.” They say, “I think there are many good reasons why we’re entering this new line of business, and I’m certain the management team has done a thorough ROI analysis, but I’m not sure we have fully considered the downstream effects of taking this step forward at this time.” As we would say at Facebook, three letters: WTF.

‘TRUTH IS BETTER USED BY USING SIMPLE LANGUAGE’

Truth is better used by using simple language. Last year, Mark decided to learn Chinese and as part of studying, he would spend an hour or so each week with some of our employees who were native Chinese speakers. One day, one of them was trying to tell him something about her manager. She said this long sentence and he said, “simpler please.” And then she said it again and he said, “no, I still don’t understand, simpler please”…and so on and so on. Finally, in sheer exasperation, she burst out, “my manager is bad.” Simple and clear and very important for him to know.

People rarely speak this clearly in the workforce or in life. And as you get more senior, not only will people speak less clearly to you but they will overreact to the small things you say. When I joined Facebook, one of the things I had to do was build the business side of the company and put some systems into place. But I wanted to do it without destroying the culture that made Facebook great. So one of the things I tried to do was encourage people not to do formal PowerPoint presentations for meetings with me. I would say things like, “Don’t do PowerPoint presentations for meetings with me. Instead, come in with a list of what you want to discuss.” But everyone ignored me and they kept doing their presentations meeting after meeting, month after month. So about two years in, I said, “OK, I hate rules but I have a rule: no more PowerPoint in my meetings.”

About a month later I was about to speak to our global sales team on a big stage and someone came up to me and said, “Before you get on that stage, you really should know everyone’s pretty upset about the no PowerPoint with clients thing.” So I got on the stage and said, “one, I meant no PowerPoint with me. But two, more importantly, next time you hear something that’s really stupid, don’t adhere to it. Fight it or ignore it, even if it’s coming from me or Mark.”

A good leader recognizes that most people won’t feel comfortable challenging authority, so it falls upon authority to encourage them to question. It’s easy to say that you’re going to encourage feedback but it’s hard to do, because unfortunately it doesn’t always come in a format we want to hear.

‘BEING PART OF MY TEAM MEANT THAT I HAD TO KNOW YOU’

When I first started at Google, I had a team of four people and it was really important to me that I interview everyone. For me, being part of my team meant I had to know you. When the team had grown to about 100 people, I realized it was taking longer to schedule my interviews. So one day at my meeting of just my direct reports, I said “maybe I should stop interviewing”, fully expecting them to jump in and say “no, your interviews are a critical part of the process.” They applauded. Then they fell over themselves explaining that I was the bottleneck of all time. I was embarrassed. Then I was angry and I spent a few hours just quietly fuming. Why didn’t they tell me I was a bottleneck? Why did they let me go on slowing them down? Then I realized that if they hadn’t told me, it was my fault. I hadn’t convinced them that I wanted that feedback and I would have to change that going forward.

When you’re the leader, it is really hard to get good and honest feedback, no many how many times you ask for it. One trick I’ve discovered is that I try to speak really openly about the things I’m bad at, because that gives people permission to agree with me, which is a lot easier than pointing it out in the first place. To take one of many possible examples, when things are unresolved I can get a tad anxious. Really, when anything’s unresolved, I get anxious. I’m quite certain no one has accused me of being too calm. So I speak about it openly and that gives people permission to tell me when it’s happening. But if I never said anything, would anyone who works at Facebook walk up to me and say, “Hey Sheryl, calm down. You’re driving us all nuts!” I don’t think so.

‘WHEN YOU GET HONESTY BACK, WILL YOU REACT WITH ANGER OR WITH GRATITUDE?’

As you graduate today, ask yourself, how will you lead. Will you use simple and clear language? Will you seek out honesty? When you get honesty back, will you react with anger or with gratitude?

As we strive to be more authentic in our communication, we should also strive to be more authentic in a broader sense. I talk a lot about bringing your whole self to work—something I believe in deeply.

Motivation comes from working on things we care about. But it also comes from working with people we care about. And in order to care about someone, you have to know them. You have to know what they love and hate, what they feel, not just what they think. If you want to win hearts and minds, you have to lead with your heart as well as your mind. I don’t believe we have a professional self from Mondays through Fridays and a real self for the rest of the time. That kind of division probably never worked, but in today’s world, with real and authentic voice, it makes even less sense.

CRYING AT WORK: YES, SHE’S DONE IT BUT NOT EXACTLY ON ZUCKERBERG’S SHOULDER

I’ve cried at work. I’ve told people I’ve cried at work. And it’s been reported in the press that ‘Sheryl Sandberg cried on Mark Zuckerberg’s shoulder’, which is not exactly what happened. I talk about my hopes and fears and ask people about theirs. I try to be myself – honest about my strengths and weaknesses – and I encourage others to do the same. It is all professional and it is all personal, all at the very same time.

I recently started speaking up about the challenges women face in the workforce, something I only had the courage to do in the last few years. Before this, I did my career like everyone else does it. I never told anyone I was a girl. Don’t tell. I left the lights on when I went home to do something for my kids . I locked my office door and pumped milk for my babies while I was on conference calls. People would ask, “what’s that sound?” I would say, “What sound?” “I hear a beep.” “Oh, there’s a fire truck outside my office.”

But the lack of progress over the past decade has convinced me we need to start talking about this. I graduated from HBS in 1995 and I thought it was completely clear that by the time someone from my year was invited to speak at this podium, we would have achieved equality in the workforce. But women at the top — C-level jobs — are stuck at 15-16 percent and have not moved in a decade. Not even close to 50% and no longer growing. We need to acknowledge openly that gender remains an issue at the highest levels of leadership. The promise of equality is not equality. We need to start talking about this.

‘AS A WOMAN IS MORE SUCCESSFUL IN YOUR WORKPLACES, SHE WILL BE LESS LIKED’

We need to start talking about how women underestimate their abilities compared to men and how for women, but not men, success and likeability are negatively correlated. That means that as a woman is more successful in your workplaces, she will be less liked. This means that women need a different form of management and mentorship, a different form of sponsorship and encouragement than men.

There aren’t enough senior women out there to do it, so it falls upon the men who are graduating today just as much or more as the women, not just to talk about gender but to help these women succeed. When they hear a woman is really great at her job but not liked, take a deep breath and ask why.

We need to start talking openly about the flexibility all of us need to have both a job and a life. A couple of weeks ago in an interview I said that I leave the office at 5:30 p.m. to have dinner with my children. I was shocked at the press coverage. One of my friends said I couldn’t get more headlines if I had murdered someone with an ax. This showed me this is an unresolved issue for all of us, men and women alike. Otherwise, everyone would not write so much about it.

‘WE NEED MORE WOMEN NOT JUST TO SIT AT THE TABLE, BUT TO TAKE THEIR RIGHTFUL SEATS’

And maybe, most importantly, we need to start talking about how fewer women than men, even from places like HBS, even likely in this class, aspire to the very top jobs. We will not close the leadership gap until we close the professional ambition gap. We need more women not just to sit at the table, but as President Obama said a few weeks ago at Barnard, to take their rightful seats at the head of the table.

One of the reasons I was so excited to be here today is that this is the 50th anniversary of letting women into this school. Dean Noria, who is so passionate about getting more women into leadership positions, told me that he wanted me to speak this year for that reason.

I met a woman from that first class once. She told me that when they first came in, they took a men’s room and converted it to a woman’s room. But they left the urinals in. She thought the message was clear – ‘we are not sure this whole woman thing is going to work out and if not, we don’t want to have to reinstall the urinals.’ The urinals are long gone. Let’s make sure that no one ever misses them.

FOUR THINGS SANDBERG WISHES FOR HARVARD’S GRADUATING CLASS OF 2012

As you and your classmates spread out across the globe and walk across this stage tomorrow, I wish for you four things:

First, keep in touch via Facebook. This is critical to your future success! And since we’re public now, why you are there, click on an ad or two.

Two, that you make the effort to speak as well as seek the truth.

Three, that you remain true to and open about your authentic self.

And four, that your generation accomplishes what mine has failed to do. Give us a world where half our homes are run by men and half our institutions are run by women. I’m pretty sure that would be a better world.

 

I join everyone here in offering my most sincere congratulations to the HBS Class of 2012. Give yourselves a huge round of applause.